Monday, December 28, 2009

Look at my blanket!

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I've been a little under the weather lately so I have chosen to postpone any photographs until I was in top diva form.  Now that I am fabulous again I wanted to show you the cool blanket that my grandma made!  I was very spoiled by all of my humans this Christmas.  I'm so happy...I think I'll chew both my feet now to celebrate.  Your Diva-Dixie

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Dixie's views on winter weather

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  Guess what happened today?  I was napping on the warm comfy couch, and my mommy told me that it was time to go outside.'s like 3 degrees outside.  And it's not like it's that light fluffy snow, we're talking granular snow.  That stuff is in the cycle of melting and refreezing...this is bad news for a diva.  That sticks to my paws and gets my coat all messed up.  Plus, it's windy.  That yard offers no real protection.  How can I be expected to go into the evil of winter?  But you guessed it, nobody listens to me.  So I am dumped outside in my misery, and then I see it......
hahahahahaha!!  I have attached a picture of the giant penguin below for your enjoyment.  I love the winter.  Your pal-Dixie  

The penguin today

Monday, December 7, 2009

Master and apprentice

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I have been busy training my beloved companion, my chewy lamb, the secrets of my craft.  This will allow me to conduct other important diva business without leaving my post unguarded.  Don't worry, I will remain at my post during peak barking hours.  I am including a picture of my chewy lamb on duty because I am so proud of his progress.  Your fabulous diva-Dixie

Monday, November 30, 2009

Dixie's views on resolutions

Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been keeping busy with my continuing surveillance of the giant penguin. I would like to keep a written log of his behavior and activities, however, I have not mastered the use of a pencil. If I leave my post for very long to record my observations on the computer...well, I may miss something big. To pass the time I have been considering my upcoming New Year's resolutions. I figure that I'll need extra time to prepare because I have very little that needs reforming. These cats over here can wait until the last minute because they have so many bad habits to choose from. So far I have come up with these ideas: chew more stuff, chase more stuff, bark at more stuff. Aren't those great ideas? I should get back to my post for now. Your diva-Dixie

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Penguin, Part 2

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I look a little stressed, don't I?  I know what you are thinking.....I really do.  You are saying,"Dixie, you should be relaxing because a diva like you needs rest to be so fabulous!"   I hear ya'.  But get this....the penguin moved.  Somehow it got closer to my door.  Mommy said something about decreasing the amount of wind exposure to the penguin.  I have no idea what this means.  What I do know is that it is impossible to get around this thing without it jumping at me.  Mommy said that it's tied down and can't get me, but this is the same chick that moved my couch a couple of months ago.  I can't take her seriously, can I?  So, my beloved followers, we need a plan to eliminate a 7 foot penguin with poor fashion sense.  Your trapped diva-Dixie

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Dixie's rough Wednesday

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I have had a tough day.  I mean, here I am with my new hairdo and nail treatment and they are expecting me to "go" outside in the rain.  Yep, I'm not even kidding.  So I have had to deal with the mud and that giant penguin all day.  You would think that would be enough, right?  Wrong.  The little boy person got his cough drop stuck in my ear fur! My freshly puffed ear was full of sticky boy spit and cherry mentho-lyptus.  So that woman (usually known as mommy) stuck me into the bath.  The bath!  Two days after the spa!  I'm gonna' go bark at nothing to annoy her now. And I think I'll chew on her purse. Ha! Your vengeful diva-Dixie   

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My new tag

Check out my new diva charm!  And yes, that is a new hairdo as well.  I'm so stinking cute, don't cha' think?  

Monday, November 16, 2009

Dixie's views on giant penguins

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  Yes, I know that I look somewhat scared today, but you would not believe what is in my yard!  This gigantic bird with a hat landed in MY yard, and he hasn't moved.  Mommy calls him a holiday penguin, whatever that means.  I've tried barking, howling, growling...all of my scariest stuff.  This dude will not budge.  He's creeping me out, especially that hat.  What is up with that?  But don't worry, I am staying on the other side of the house until he leaves.  Your Diva in Hiding-Dixie  

Friday, November 13, 2009

Dixie's cool new stuff to eat

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I have had so much fun finding new things to eat this week.  For example, have you ever tried Cascade Dishwasher packets?  I have to say that my time with this new snack was cut short by Mommy.  She sure was grouchy, and muttered something like, "You'll get your stomach pumped, genius."  I have no idea what that means, but she must be proud of my discovery if she called me a genius.  Oh, and then I found these Equal 0 Calorie Sweetener things.  I don't know what a calorie is, but these things are yum!  Especially the blue paper!  Mom said a bad word at me for this one, but I think she was just trying to get the blue paper for herself.  Well, I am off to find more new snacks!  Wish me luck!  Your Diva-Dixie

Monday, November 9, 2009

Dixie's views on calendar selection

Hi! It's me, Dixie! I was getting a jump on my holiday shopping today online, and I realized that the perfect gift for everyone would be a Lhasa Apso Page-a-Day calendar. I mean, if there was an actual "Diva Dixie" calendar that would indeed be better, but this is the next best thing. Am I right? Well, get this....and if you are drinking a hot beverage then you should probably set it down now....there are none. That's right. But guess what they do have? Do I even have to say it? Shih Tzu calendars! Yep! Old number 70 on the dog intelligence scale has more calendars than you can count. What is up with humans and their Shih Tzu thing? Do you have any idea how many times I get mistaken for one of these things? Hello?! I happen to come from an impressive history of Tibetan watch dogs. The exact origin of the Shih Tzu is unknown. Unknown! Do you know what is known? That Lhasa Apsos rank 2 places higher on the intelligence scale. I'm just saying. Okay, back to my shopping. Your fabulous diva-Dixie

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Dixie's helpful holiday tip

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I have been really busy lately eating ladybugs so I haven't had my usual time to blog.  They are so yummy, you should definitely try some.  Anyway, I was watching the local news today and noticed that lots of humans are worried about packing on holiday weight.  I thought that I'd offer my tips for avoiding those seasonal pounds.  Well, it's one tip really, but it's a goodie.  You should really get a pen and write this down.  Here it is...give your yummies to the dog.  Don't have a dog?  Not a problem! Mail them to me, Dixie.  Make sure you label your package clearly so that my humans don't try to intercept the good stuff.  I'll eat anything, trust me.  If it doesn't agree with me then it's always fun to puke it up for mommy.  She loves that.  Now that I have lessened your holiday stress I will return to eating ladybugs and chewing on my foot.  Your Problem-Solving Diva-Dixie 

Monday, October 19, 2009

Dixie's views on dog intelligence

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I'm busy doing my guard dog thing today. I've been fine-tuning my growl for the Halloween season, and I am pretty sure that I scared the grocery guy this morning.  Anyway, I thought I'd take a break to share my views on the findings of Dr. Stanley Coren, professor of psychology in Vancouver.  I find it somewhat unsettling that Lhasa Apsos are ranked as the 68th most intelligent dogs.  It was good to see that I at least came in above the Shih Tzu, but 68?!?  I will also mention that Poodles came in at number 2...ummm, hello?!  Have you ever seen a Poodle with blogging skills?  Are Poodles reading your website, Dr. Coren?  Nope, that's me, number 68!  I am aware that I am afraid of pumpkins, but this shouldn't count towards my intelligence.  Pumpkins are creepy, everyone knows that! And now I have to worry about those obnoxious Labs that I pass on my walk.  They're gonna' be talking smack with their number 7 rank.  It is some comfort to me that you, my loving followers, know the truth. Your undervalued diva-Dixie 

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dixie's views on new boots

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  Check out my new boots! Aren't they cool? I just love them! What a great idea my humans had! Boots!! (Okay, does that sound realistic enough?  If I sound convincing then maybe they'll let me wear them outside and I can kick them off in the construction mud.  All I need to do is lose one, right?  Then I've broken up the set.  By the way, what kind of genius invents this crap?  I bet it was a cat's idea...some grand plan to demoralize the dog population.)  Anyway, I just wanted to show you my cool new boots!  Your pal-Dixie

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dixie's views on lawn aeration

Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have a few thoughts to share on the subject of lawn aeration. I will elaborate for my feline readers who may not go outside and are confused. Aeration involves making holes in the lawn by coring, which is extracting a plug of soil. Translation? Aeration is the process of confusing innocent dogs by producing dirt chunks that look extremely similar to poop, therefore making it impossible for dogs to find "their spot". I mean, I left perfectly good poop out there and now I can't find it! Am I expected to wander aimlessly in search of my "spot"?!?! Didn't someone consider putting up a little sign or flag for me to help in the location process? Sheesh! Your stressed out diva-Dixie

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dixie's views on football

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I am enjoying my Sunday afternoon of napping and chewing my feet.  My humans are very caught up in the big games, so I thought this would be a good time to share my opinions on football.  I have none.  I'm a dog.  Dogs don't care about football. All I know is that we have all of the TVs tuned to the same exact game when there is a perfectly good Dog 101 marathon on Animal Planet.  Oh, and don't get me started on the conversations that they've been having about whether to buy me a Bears collar or a Ravens collar.  I even heard someone mention a game day doggie t-shirt.  If that happens, I am moving in with grandma....I'm just saying.  Your misunderstood diva-Dixie 

Monday, September 28, 2009

Dixie's views on the time-out chair

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I've been having a fun day chewing on Mommy's pant leg, chewing on my little human's socks, and chewing this yummy paper thing called "Emma's math book", whatever that means.  All this chewing can be hard work, but do you think that Mommy appreciates that?  You don't even have to say it, we both know the answer.  So anyway, I thought I would share my ideas on the time-out chair.  First of all, researchers tend to agree that time-outs are not effective for anyone under 24 months.  Ummm, hello?  I'm only 1!  Also, time-outs increase separation anxiety which can damage my core sense of security.  Think about that, it's my core!  I'm thinking that maybe one of you, my loving followers, can call my mommy and explain these things to her.  Thanks in advance!  Your diva-Dixie

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Spa Day

Come on, do I really need to even say anything? I see no difference, do you? And by the way...calling it "spa day" doesn't really do anything but annoy me. Who does she think she's fooling?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Dixie's views on population control

Hi!  It's me, Dixie!  I have some thoughts on population growth in the household.  First, it's okay with me if it is growth in the admiring people population (admiring of me...the adorable dog).  However, I draw the line at increasing the "oh so cute" hamster population (cue the vomit noise here).  I mean, come on!  These are rodents (don't people set traps for these things?)...I am man's best friend, loyal and obviously lovely in countless ways.  What is up with this?   Your confused, but always fabulous diva-Dixie

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dixie's views on bathroom rugs

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I have a few things on my mind about bathroom rugs.  The first thing is, they are yummy.  The second thing is, they are easy to reach.  We're talking no effort...right there, on the floor, yumminess at my feet.  So with those two facts in mind, why am I being targeted for insulting comments and reprimands simply because I responded in an obvious way?  How unfair is that?  Mommy even threw away the chunks that I worked so hard to rip off...what a waste!  Doesn't she know that there are starving dogs in India that could feed their entire family on those chunks?  So really, this isn't even about me, it's about ending world hunger for dogs.  I am being stuck outside on that tie thing because I have a better global awareness than other lazy pets. (cough...Sophie)  Anyway, those are my thoughts on bathroom rugs.  Your pal-Dixie

Monday, September 14, 2009

Dixie's views on the justice system in multi-pet households

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  I am going to start by asking you, my loving followers, who you see sitting outside of the house?  Who has been banned to face the harsh elements on her own?  Is it one of the cats? The ones who lure innocent dogs into conflicts and mischief? The ones who are at this very moment sitting inside a warm, safe shelter while I am facing the challenges of nature...alone?!  I need to mention that I wasn't even given the opportunity to defend my side of the story.  Just because Sophie was wet with dog slobber and my mouth was full of white fluffy stuff...well, what does that really prove? But don't worry, beloved reader, I am planning on contacting the local news as soon as possible.  This thing is gonna' be exposed, that's for sure.  They won't even know what hit them. Your suffering diva-Dixie

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Dixie's bath

A word of advice to my beloved readers...
When you get the chance to roll around in wet grass clippings (which is totally cool! I highly suggest this activity), don't let the humans catch you afterwards.  Do you see the injustice that has been done to me?
Your beloved, although unappreciated heroine-Dixie

Friday, September 11, 2009

Dixie's views on breath

Hi, it's me! Dixie!  My day has been very exciting because the guys were pouring the new sidewalk next door, and I had lots of people to bark at.  I was, however, insulted today and knew that you, my beloved readers, would sympathize with me.  I have been accused of having "stinky" dog breath.  Excuse me? And just now my mommy tried to brush my teeth with some goop that she kept telling me was "yummy".  Ha!  First of all, I know for a fact that my breath smells like a combination of goose poop and my feet.  That is a delightful smell, can anyone actually argue with that?!!  I work very hard to achieve just that exact smell! These people have got some nerve.  Personally I am grossed out by that minty stuff they like to put on their teeth.  Does anyone ask how I feel about it? You already know the answer, don't you?  Your diva-Dixie

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Are you kidding me?

Ummmm.....what the heck is this?  And why is it in my house?  And why do I keep hearing "Look how cute she is!" when nobody is actually looking at me?   Further investigation is needed...

Look at what that woman did!

Excuse me, beloved reader, if my nose seems a bit out of joint today.  That woman (the one that I usually call mommy, but today she is "that woman") moved MY couch!  Did she call a meeting to discuss the pros and cons of such a huge change on the household environment?  No!  She just went and did it!   Can you see the relative distance between the window and myself?  Do you understand the stress that this modification puts on my ability to spot and bark at random things?  She said it had something to do with the distribution of light (that sounds totally made up, don't you think?).  I think I'll trip her a few extra times today.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Dixie's views on cats

Hi! It's me, Dixie!  First of all, before I even begin let's do a basic compare and contrast.  This is a cat (in the basket).  Who, in your objective opinion, is cuter?  Who is obviously more intelligent?  You would never catch me sitting in a basket...I'm just saying.  I could stop right here and my point would be made, am I right?  So get this, this cat thing is trying to take the attention away from me with its little "Look at me, I'm in a basket" bit. Can you believe it?  So the real question I let the cat out or do I just eat it?  It's your call. Your unappreciated heroine-Dixie

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dixie the Banana

Do you see what I put up with?  Yes, this is me, your diva....dressed up like a banana.  I would like this photograph to serve as evidence of the mistreatment that I am subjected to on a regular basis. 
Your tormented heroine,

Wow, I'm cute!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dixie's views on dog labor

Hi, it's me, Dixie! Don't worry, dear reader, I know I look exhausted, but I will be my lovable and excited self in no time.  The amount of labor that is expected of me is just mind blowing though.  Get this...I had to start my barking at 7:00 this morning when the Chem Lawn guy came (and he had the nerve to call me a "poodle", which is unbelievable, but I will address that at a later time).  Anyway, then the construction guys started coming in...more barking.  THEN this guy starts walking around on our roof banging stuff...serious barking requiredDon't even get me started on the golfers, the mailman, general car you see my point?  My life is so full of hardship, but I will continue on as your idol after my nap.  Your Pal-Dixie

Monday, August 31, 2009

Dixie on a rock

This is me, Dixie, on a rock.
I'm the shorter one.
I am not wearing the red shirt. 
Your Pal-Dixie

Monday, August 24, 2009

Dixie's views on haircuts

I was browsing through photos today, and I found this very enchanting picture of myself. Can you believe that the evildoers at Petsmart chopped this off? I know, dear reader, that you share my outrage at the injustice that has been done to me. Please be aware that I am currently seeking legal representation in this matter.
Your tormented heroine-Dixie

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Dixie's most recent "too cute" photo

I am so good looking that it's scary. Don't cha' think?

Dixie's camping adventure

Hi! It's me, Dixie! Check out the tent that my little boy person and I were playing in today in the house! Yep, it's in the house! Isn't that cool? I heard the bigger people saying something about
the tent and it "keeping them out of our hair", whatever that means. The tent is so cool....maybe I'll eat it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dixie's views on mud

Hi! It's me, Dixie! I wanted to share my opinions on mud. It's cool! Oh, and it's more yummy in Ohio. If you haven't tried it, get some Ohio mud. It. Is. Awesome.
Those are my views on mud. Your Pal-Dixie

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dixie's travel notes

Hi! It's me, Dixie! Guess what? I'm in Ohio! (I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool, right?) Grandma's house has lots of places for me to jump on when my paws get wet and dirty. Her white couch is my favorite! She has a gigantic yard with lots of dirt and bugs and leaves and rocks and plants...all yummy. But get this, I had to take a was so embarrassing. Mommy said that it was "unavoidable" (I don't think that is really a word, is it?). The injustice still has me a bit crabby. I'll be home in a couple of days! I'm so excited! I know the cats are missing me chasing them and knocking them off of the couch. Talk soon! Your Pal-Dixie

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dixie's day

Hi, it's Dixie! Today I am watching my mommy pack up our stuff to visit grandma's. Isn't that cool? When I got up today, daddy let me go outside to chase the geese out of the yard, and I got to eat some goose poop! I also made sure to roll around in the dirt since mommy just gave me a bath, and I know she loves it when I do that. Plus now my breath smells like "crap" (whatever that means)...I'm sure it's something good. I love to make my mommy happy. I have to go now. I'm having fun knocking over mommy's clean piles of laundry after she folds them. She loves that game!

Thanks for visiting my blog! Your Pal-Dixie