Monday, March 14, 2011

Dixie's bad Monday

Hi. It's me, Dixie. So my darkest fears were realized this morning as I was dragged unwillingly to Petsmart with instructions directed to my stylist to give me a "puppy cut". Really? And someone should tell her that calling it "classic"doesn't change it. This cut is sooo 2010. I realize that if anyone can pull off the vintage thing it's me, but I think she just wants to trap me in a time warp for her own twisted pleasure. Doesn't this pattern of mommy behavior indicate some sort of syndrome? I'll just add this event to the growing collection of material for my upcoming memoir. I am sorry if I've ruined your Monday morning with this update. Don't fear, the swoop will return. Your vintage diva-Dixie

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dixie's views on a good swoop

Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been spending my Saturday looking for the latest fashion trends to jazz up my image, and I have one word for you. Bangs. That's right, I discovered that I have that natural "dramatically flat" look that Redbook says the celebrities want. I don't even have to try! Look at these bangs! According to Hair Resources it is very important to achieve a good swoop. It's like they were thinking of me specifically when they wrote that. These bangs are the definition of good swoop, don't you agree?  Now here is the problem...I see the word "Petsmart" on the calendar for Monday. Why would that be on the calendar? If she was shopping at Petsmart then why would she put it on the calendar?? There is no way that she intends to get these bangs cut, right?! Right!!?? Maybe I am just reading the word wrong (It is kinda' hard to see through these bangs) and it says something else. That has to be it. I'm sure that I will be reporting in on Monday that my bangs are still fabulously swooping. Okay, I feel better now. Your swooping diva-Dixie