Hi! It's me, Dixie! I already know what you are saying. You're asking, "Dixie, This is a holiday so why aren't you relaxing?" Well, here's the deal....Federal holidays actually make more work for a responsible diva. Yes, the mailman isn't coming so I can check that off of my to do list, but extra barking is required for these neighborhood kids who aren't at school. And don't even get me started on the extra dog walkers! I googled it this morning and I found out that only non-essential workers are supposed to be off. I am nothing if not essential. So it is another manic Monday for divas everywhere. Your essential diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am feeling somewhat confused this morning. I know that this will bother you, my loving followers, but I have just discovered that a groundhog has actually been given consistent annual television coverage just for coming out of his hole in the ground. That's right, I kid you not. We're talking about an animal that humans call a whistle-pig. And I might add that this nickname is fitting. And what does he actually do? He looks around. Wow...impressive. Seriously, I went outside this morning and I noticed my shadow. I remember thinking, "That is one good looking shadow." Then I come in to enjoy my treat, and I see this dude on the news. Do you see the problem here? Of course you do because you appreciate a diva. I can't believe that I even asked. I'm going to contact my lawyer about this. Updates will follow soon. Your beloved diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been minding my own business relaxing with my toys and chewing on my feet on this cold day. Anyway, suddenly I was taken a bit by surprise when one of the cats commented that I am a little spoiled. Can you believe that? I don't know where this attitude comes from. These felines have some serious issues. To prove my point I have attached a picture of Maxie with her toys. See???? What's her deal anyway? Your verbally mistreated diva-Dixie
I clearly stated that I wanted an updo. Ummm...this is clearly the cut-and-bow combo that I got the last time. How am I going to maintain my image of an edgy fashion diva with the cut-and-bow thing? Every dog in there was getting a cut-and-bow. Do you see my point? And she tried to win my forgiveness with a pink bunny. Not likely. But I'm keeping the bunny.
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I'm keeping busy chewing on zombie dog, but I wanted to stop in and give you my opinions on peanut butter. This is on my mind due to an unfortunate incident that happened with Mommy this morning. You see, I always take my pill with my Jif peanut butter. I love that stuff. Love. It. If you haven't tried it, you simply must. So anyway, Mommy goes to give me my pill and I detect that something is a little hinky. Then I notice that she has the Peter Pan peanut butter out on the counter. What the heck?! Of course I'm not eating that. So she says to me, "You eat goose poop and mud!" What's her point? So get this...she actually wipes off the substandard stuff and puts Jif on the same pill. Are you kidding me? She doesn't even bother to hide this deceitful action, she does it right in front of me! Well, my friends, I am nothing if not committed to brand loyalty. Finally she gets it. I get a new pill. I get my Jif. What I didn't get was an apology, but I'm going to let it slide this time. Your forgiving diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I realize that at first glance it may seem like football-dog and I are being lazy and not performing our important diva duties. But do not fear, beloved reader, I would never let you down! Football-dog and I are taking a power nap. You see, the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that power naps can boost my energy and creativity, as well as reverse information overload. Information overload! That can cause a diva some serious stress. Think about that! I have increased barking demands now that the plow guys are coming around. Don't even get me started on the snow blowers. Within minutes I will be more alert and have improved response time!
Now I'd like to give you a few important power-napping tips. You may read that you should avoid caffeine (whatever that is...it sounds like a made up word to me) in order to have the best power naps. Don't listen to that hooey. Here's what you do...eat half of an oreo and then crash on the couch with your football-dog. It is best if your football-dog smells like dog spit. It's also good to have him nearby in case you get hungry during your power nap and need to chew on his ear. That, my loyal followers, is the secret to excellent power-napping. Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been a little under the weather lately so I have chosen to postpone any photographs until I was in top diva form. Now that I am fabulous again I wanted to show you the cool blanket that my grandma made! I was very spoiled by all of my humans this Christmas. I'm so happy...I think I'll chew both my feet now to celebrate. Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Guess what happened today? I was napping on the warm comfy couch, and my mommy told me that it was time to go outside. Ummm....it's like 3 degrees outside. And it's not like it's that light fluffy snow, we're talking granular snow. That stuff is in the cycle of melting and refreezing...this is bad news for a diva. That sticks to my paws and gets my coat all messed up. Plus, it's windy. That yard offers no real protection. How can I be expected to go into the evil of winter? But you guessed it, nobody listens to me. So I am dumped outside in my misery, and then I see it......
hahahahahaha!! I have attached a picture of the giant penguin below for your enjoyment. I love the winter. Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been busy training my beloved companion, my chewy lamb, the secrets of my craft. This will allow me to conduct other important diva business without leaving my post unguarded. Don't worry, I will remain at my post during peak barking hours. I am including a picture of my chewy lamb on duty because I am so proud of his progress. Your fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been keeping busy with my continuing surveillance of the giant penguin. I would like to keep a written log of his behavior and activities, however, I have not mastered the use of a pencil. If I leave my post for very long to record my observations on the computer...well, I may miss something big. To pass the time I have been considering my upcoming New Year's resolutions. I figure that I'll need extra time to prepare because I have very little that needs reforming. These cats over here can wait until the last minute because they have so many bad habits to choose from. So far I have come up with these ideas: chew more stuff, chase more stuff, bark at more stuff. Aren't those great ideas? I should get back to my post for now. Your diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I look a little stressed, don't I? I know what you are thinking.....I really do. You are saying,"Dixie, you should be relaxing because a diva like you needs rest to be so fabulous!" I hear ya'. But get this....the penguin moved. Somehow it got closer to my door. Mommy said something about decreasing the amount of wind exposure to the penguin. I have no idea what this means. What I do know is that it is impossible to get around this thing without it jumping at me. Mommy said that it's tied down and can't get me, but this is the same chick that moved my couch a couple of months ago. I can't take her seriously, can I? So, my beloved followers, we need a plan to eliminate a 7 foot penguin with poor fashion sense. Your trapped diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have had a tough day. I mean, here I am with my new hairdo and nail treatment and they are expecting me to "go" outside in the rain. Yep, I'm not even kidding. So I have had to deal with the mud and that giant penguin all day. You would think that would be enough, right? Wrong. The little boy person got his cough drop stuck in my ear fur! My freshly puffed ear was full of sticky boy spit and cherry mentho-lyptus. So that woman (usually known as mommy) stuck me into the bath. The bath! Two days after the spa! I'm gonna' go bark at nothing to annoy her now. And I think I'll chew on her purse. Ha! Your vengeful diva-Dixie
Check out my new diva charm! And yes, that is a new hairdo as well. I'm so stinking cute, don't cha' think?
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Yes, I know that I look somewhat scared today, but you would not believe what is in my yard! This gigantic bird with a hat landed in MY yard, and he hasn't moved. Mommy calls him a holiday penguin, whatever that means. I've tried barking, howling, growling...all of my scariest stuff. This dude will not budge. He's creeping me out, especially that hat. What is up with that? But don't worry, I am staying on the other side of the house until he leaves. Your Diva in Hiding-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have had so much fun finding new things to eat this week. For example, have you ever tried Cascade Dishwasher packets? I have to say that my time with this new snack was cut short by Mommy. She sure was grouchy, and muttered something like, "You'll get your stomach pumped, genius." I have no idea what that means, but she must be proud of my discovery if she called me a genius. Oh, and then I found these Equal 0 Calorie Sweetener things. I don't know what a calorie is, but these things are yum! Especially the blue paper! Mom said a bad word at me for this one, but I think she was just trying to get the blue paper for herself. Well, I am off to find more new snacks! Wish me luck! Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I was getting a jump on my holiday shopping today online, and I realized that the perfect gift for everyone would be a Lhasa Apso Page-a-Day calendar. I mean, if there was an actual "Diva Dixie" calendar that would indeed be better, but this is the next best thing. Am I right? Well, get this....and if you are drinking a hot beverage then you should probably set it down now....there are none. That's right. But guess what they do have? Do I even have to say it? Shih Tzu calendars! Yep! Old number 70 on the dog intelligence scale has more calendars than you can count. What is up with humans and their Shih Tzu thing? Do you have any idea how many times I get mistaken for one of these things? Hello?! I happen to come from an impressive history of Tibetan watch dogs. The exact origin of the Shih Tzu is unknown. Unknown! Do you know what is known? That Lhasa Apsos rank 2 places higher on the intelligence scale. I'm just saying. Okay, back to my shopping. Your fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been really busy lately eating ladybugs so I haven't had my usual time to blog. They are so yummy, you should definitely try some. Anyway, I was watching the local news today and noticed that lots of humans are worried about packing on holiday weight. I thought that I'd offer my tips for avoiding those seasonal pounds. Well, it's one tip really, but it's a goodie. You should really get a pen and write this down. Here it is...give your yummies to the dog. Don't have a dog? Not a problem! Mail them to me, Dixie. Make sure you label your package clearly so that my humans don't try to intercept the good stuff. I'll eat anything, trust me. If it doesn't agree with me then it's always fun to puke it up for mommy. She loves that. Now that I have lessened your holiday stress I will return to eating ladybugs and chewing on my foot. Your Problem-Solving Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I'm busy doing my guard dog thing today. I've been fine-tuning my growl for the Halloween season, and I am pretty sure that I scared the grocery guy this morning. Anyway, I thought I'd take a break to share my views on the findings of Dr. Stanley Coren, professor of psychology in Vancouver. I find it somewhat unsettling that Lhasa Apsos are ranked as the 68th most intelligent dogs. It was good to see that I at least came in above the Shih Tzu, but 68?!? I will also mention that Poodles came in at number 2...ummm, hello?! Have you ever seen a Poodle with blogging skills? Are Poodles reading your website, Dr. Coren? Nope, that's me, number 68! I am aware that I am afraid of pumpkins, but this shouldn't count towards my intelligence. Pumpkins are creepy, everyone knows that! And now I have to worry about those obnoxious Labs that I pass on my walk. They're gonna' be talking smack with their number 7 rank. It is some comfort to me that you, my loving followers, know the truth. Your undervalued diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Check out my new boots! Aren't they cool? I just love them! What a great idea my humans had! Boots!! (Okay, does that sound realistic enough? If I sound convincing then maybe they'll let me wear them outside and I can kick them off in the construction mud. All I need to do is lose one, right? Then I've broken up the set. By the way, what kind of genius invents this crap? I bet it was a cat's idea...some grand plan to demoralize the dog population.) Anyway, I just wanted to show you my cool new boots! Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have a few thoughts to share on the subject of lawn aeration. I will elaborate for my feline readers who may not go outside and are confused. Aeration involves making holes in the lawn by coring, which is extracting a plug of soil. Translation? Aeration is the process of confusing innocent dogs by producing dirt chunks that look extremely similar to poop, therefore making it impossible for dogs to find "their spot". I mean, I left perfectly good poop out there and now I can't find it! Am I expected to wander aimlessly in search of my "spot"?!?! Didn't someone consider putting up a little sign or flag for me to help in the location process? Sheesh! Your stressed out diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am enjoying my Sunday afternoon of napping and chewing my feet. My humans are very caught up in the big games, so I thought this would be a good time to share my opinions on football. I have none. I'm a dog. Dogs don't care about football. All I know is that we have all of the TVs tuned to the same exact game when there is a perfectly good Dog 101 marathon on Animal Planet. Oh, and don't get me started on the conversations that they've been having about whether to buy me a Bears collar or a Ravens collar. I even heard someone mention a game day doggie t-shirt. If that happens, I am moving in with grandma....I'm just saying. Your misunderstood diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been having a fun day chewing on Mommy's pant leg, chewing on my little human's socks, and chewing this yummy paper thing called "Emma's math book", whatever that means. All this chewing can be hard work, but do you think that Mommy appreciates that? You don't even have to say it, we both know the answer. So anyway, I thought I would share my ideas on the time-out chair. First of all, researchers tend to agree that time-outs are not effective for anyone under 24 months. Ummm, hello? I'm only 1! Also, time-outs increase separation anxiety which can damage my core sense of security. Think about that, it's my core! I'm thinking that maybe one of you, my loving followers, can call my mommy and explain these things to her. Thanks in advance! Your diva-Dixie
Come on, do I really need to even say anything? I see no difference, do you? And by the way...calling it "spa day" doesn't really do anything but annoy me. Who does she think she's fooling?
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have some thoughts on population growth in the household. First, it's okay with me if it is growth in the admiring people population (admiring of me...the adorable dog). However, I draw the line at increasing the "oh so cute" hamster population (cue the vomit noise here). I mean, come on! These are rodents (don't people set traps for these things?)...I am man's best friend, loyal and obviously lovely in countless ways. What is up with this? Your confused, but always fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have a few things on my mind about bathroom rugs. The first thing is, they are yummy. The second thing is, they are easy to reach. We're talking no effort...right there, on the floor, yumminess at my feet. So with those two facts in mind, why am I being targeted for insulting comments and reprimands simply because I responded in an obvious way? How unfair is that? Mommy even threw away the chunks that I worked so hard to rip off...what a waste! Doesn't she know that there are starving dogs in India that could feed their entire family on those chunks? So really, this isn't even about me, it's about ending world hunger for dogs. I am being stuck outside on that tie thing because I have a better global awareness than other lazy pets. (cough...Sophie) Anyway, those are my thoughts on bathroom rugs. Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am going to start by asking you, my loving followers, who you see sitting outside of the house? Who has been banned to face the harsh elements on her own? Is it one of the cats? The ones who lure innocent dogs into conflicts and mischief? The ones who are at this very moment sitting inside a warm, safe shelter while I am facing the challenges of nature...alone?! I need to mention that I wasn't even given the opportunity to defend my side of the story. Just because Sophie was wet with dog slobber and my mouth was full of white fluffy stuff...well, what does that really prove? But don't worry, beloved reader, I am planning on contacting the local news as soon as possible. This thing is gonna' be exposed, that's for sure. They won't even know what hit them. Your suffering diva-Dixie
A word of advice to my beloved readers...
When you get the chance to roll around in wet grass clippings (which is totally cool! I highly suggest this activity), don't let the humans catch you afterwards. Do you see the injustice that has been done to me?
Your beloved, although unappreciated heroine-Dixie
Hi, it's me! Dixie! My day has been very exciting because the guys were pouring the new sidewalk next door, and I had lots of people to bark at. I was, however, insulted today and knew that you, my beloved readers, would sympathize with me. I have been accused of having "stinky" dog breath. Excuse me? And just now my mommy tried to brush my teeth with some goop that she kept telling me was "yummy". Ha! First of all, I know for a fact that my breath smells like a combination of goose poop and my feet. That is a delightful smell, can anyone actually argue with that?!! I work very hard to achieve just that exact smell! These people have got some nerve. Personally I am grossed out by that minty stuff they like to put on their teeth. Does anyone ask how I feel about it? You already know the answer, don't you? Your diva-Dixie
