Dixie's views on flyaway hair

Hi! It's me, Dixie! No, it really is me! I realize that I have dry flyaway hair that is not worthy of a diva, but that is hardly my fault. I consulted Cosmopolitan magazine and discovered that I am in dire need of Matrix Extreme Creme. Okay, easy enough. So I printed the indisputable facts to show to mommy.  She was surprisingly unmoved. What the heck? We're talking about static electricity on my head!! What could be more important than that? Doesn't she realize that I have extra electrons...that's too many electrons! If I touch a conductor I will get shocked! So now I have to worry about avoiding conductors on top of everything else. This is way too much stress on a diva. Also, what if that cute pooch, Barney, sees me with this flyaway hair? I can't even think about this anymore. I have to go chew my foot. Your electron loaded diva-Dixie