Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am somewhat breathless at the moment after a romantic moment on my evening walk. I saw that splendiferous yellow lab, Barney, today. We went to say our usual "hi", and he licked me right on the face! This was quite unexpected because I was wearing the humiliating harness thing today. Now I am tormented with the question of whether my first true kiss was indeed a pity smooch because he was mortified for me due to the harness, or if he was so (justly) overcome by my beauty that he did not even notice the offensive harness. This will likely plague my thoughts for some time. I must have a Pup-peroni treat and ponder it for a while. Your agonizing diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Yes, I know it's a little hot to be out in the sun, but I wanted to allow the golfer humans to admire my new haircut. Okay, I know what you are thinking before you even say it. You are thinking, "Dixie, with such a gorgeous haircut, where are your bows?" Yes, I know. They are appallingly absent. I am having a hard time putting this oversight into perspective. Don't get me wrong, I understand that we all have to endure financial sacrifice during these times...but we're talking about my bows. Get serious. I'm freezing mommy out at the moment. She won't allow this to happen again, I promise you. Your fluffy fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I wanted to wish all of my fans a happy holiday weekend. I know what you are thinking though. You are saying, "Dixie, Why do you look so concerned on a weekend of BBQ fun?" Well, I am afraid that I have a case of firework phobia. Although this is common for dogs, divas and non-divas alike, it appears that my humans did not take the appropriate steps to insure that I would escape this predicament. According to the leading dog health websites, it was important for my humans to carry out several steps of desensitization. My sources say that they were supposed to pair sounds similar to fireworks with yummy treats, cuddle time, or games. My treat/cuddle/game schedule has been fairly typical this week without any special auditory bombardment designed to prepare me. So due to no fault of my own I am having difficulty finding my firework mojo. Please don't let this ruin your celebrations, maybe just send me some yummy treats...that should help. Your unprepared diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I'm a little nervous today because we have some scary rain, but to get my mind off of it I have been watching the local news. It's important to stay well informed about the weather and current events when you are a diva. However, I did see a disturbing piece this morning during the food segment. I'm not sure how this report started because I was chewing my tail, but I heard the words "doggy bag" and perked up. Have you ever heard of these things? I love the concept! The idea is that leftovers from a meal are taken home for the diner's dog. What could be better?! But wait.....the person on the television said a very bad thing. Very bad. Sitting? You need to be. Ready? He said, "Of course, people don't actually waste such quality food on a dog." Did you get that? Yes, you read that correctly. People don't actually waste such quality food on a dog. I am speechless. I mean, I don't actually produce speech, but you get my point. I'm sorry if I have ruined your weekend. Please do not fret, beloved reader, I can only assume that this individual was fired once the offensive comments were made. Now I need a Pup-Peroni treat. Your diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! And here's my cousin again. It has come to my attention that he is no longer being called Buster. This naming business can be tricky, but I am nothing if not a problem solving diva. I have taken this task on as my personal mission. Please consider all of the facts, and then vote in the poll over there. First, let me tell you about this very cool divo, formerly known as Skip, formerly known as Buster. He is known for chewing on leather furniture, paper towels, stuffed animals, and footwear. He also likes to scratch my auntie's wood floors, and she is reported to love that! Since I know that you, my loyal followers, have excellent taste...please let me know what I should submit as my official recommendation on this matter. Your helpful diva-Dixie
ETA: My cousin has been officially named again. His new name is Ricky. Updates to follow if this name doesn't stick.
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been enjoying the sunshine today. And what's the best part? You got it! More walkies! And this seems like something that humans can't complicate, right? Um, wrong. Mommy got it into her head that I was at risk of tracheal collapse and back injuries because I lunge at stuff. Can someone tell her that lunging is cool? Yeah, I know I end up choking after a good lunge, but that adds to my brutelike image. So anyway, she brings home this harness doohickey. If you haven't seen one of these things, they are ridiculous. I am losing serious mojo points every time that I go out in this contraption. I am currently working on a plan to destroy this device of puppy demoralization. Updates to follow. Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! My neighbors are having a garage sale today so I have been very busy with my barking and growling, but I wanted to take a break from scaring bargain hunters to tell you about my morning. I went in to have a beauty treatment including a dental cleaning. It's not fun for a diva, but I take pride in my smile so I went along with it. Anyway, when mommy picked me up she made an indiscreet remark about my "shiny underbite". Underbite? So of course I came home to google this term. Guess what I found? An underbite is considered to be a "bite imperfection". Humans actually spend good money to have them fixed. Marie Antoinette was reported to be ashamed of her underbite. So how could this term be applied to me? I continued my research and found that a very handsome boxer, Pabst, won a contest because of his trademark underbite. This is good news, right? But wait! Guess what the contest was called? It was the 21st annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Are you kidding me? This dude is splendiferous! I'll attach a picture as proof. So once again I am amazed at the weirdness of humans. Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am one very excited diva today because I found out that I have a new cousin! Isn't he cute? I have discovered that a boy diva is called a "divo". So welcome Divo Skip!
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am feeling a little perplexed today. I was thinking ahead to my plans for April. I'm sure that you all know that it is Dog Appreciation Month, and you have probably been busy with your preparations as well. So you may be asking, "Dixie, How could this upcoming celebration have you troubled with uncertainty?" Well, here's what happened. You may want to sit down. While researching the history of dog appreciation I discovered that February 23rd was Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. It goes without saying that I have an exceptional mental capacity for retaining facts and events, but somehow I don't recall getting any special dog biscuits or unique buscuit related products on February 23rd. How could that be? Do you understand my confusion now? So now I have turned my researching energy to methods of payback aimed at humans who ignore Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. I am open to suggestions. Your puzzled diva-Dixie
Can you believe she is 72?! She obviously takes my beauty tips seriously. Yes, I know she's only 14 in people years, but whatever.
Ummm....anyone else thinking that I look like a harp seal?
The things that I put up with, sheesh!
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I already know what you are saying. You're asking, "Dixie, This is a holiday so why aren't you relaxing?" Well, here's the deal....Federal holidays actually make more work for a responsible diva. Yes, the mailman isn't coming so I can check that off of my to do list, but extra barking is required for these neighborhood kids who aren't at school. And don't even get me started on the extra dog walkers! I googled it this morning and I found out that only non-essential workers are supposed to be off. I am nothing if not essential. So it is another manic Monday for divas everywhere. Your essential diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I am feeling somewhat confused this morning. I know that this will bother you, my loving followers, but I have just discovered that a groundhog has actually been given consistent annual television coverage just for coming out of his hole in the ground. That's right, I kid you not. We're talking about an animal that humans call a whistle-pig. And I might add that this nickname is fitting. And what does he actually do? He looks around. Wow...impressive. Seriously, I went outside this morning and I noticed my shadow. I remember thinking, "That is one good looking shadow." Then I come in to enjoy my treat, and I see this dude on the news. Do you see the problem here? Of course you do because you appreciate a diva. I can't believe that I even asked. I'm going to contact my lawyer about this. Updates will follow soon. Your beloved diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been minding my own business relaxing with my toys and chewing on my feet on this cold day. Anyway, suddenly I was taken a bit by surprise when one of the cats commented that I am a little spoiled. Can you believe that? I don't know where this attitude comes from. These felines have some serious issues. To prove my point I have attached a picture of Maxie with her toys. See???? What's her deal anyway? Your verbally mistreated diva-Dixie
I clearly stated that I wanted an updo. Ummm...this is clearly the cut-and-bow combo that I got the last time. How am I going to maintain my image of an edgy fashion diva with the cut-and-bow thing? Every dog in there was getting a cut-and-bow. Do you see my point? And she tried to win my forgiveness with a pink bunny. Not likely. But I'm keeping the bunny.
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I'm keeping busy chewing on zombie dog, but I wanted to stop in and give you my opinions on peanut butter. This is on my mind due to an unfortunate incident that happened with Mommy this morning. You see, I always take my pill with my Jif peanut butter. I love that stuff. Love. It. If you haven't tried it, you simply must. So anyway, Mommy goes to give me my pill and I detect that something is a little hinky. Then I notice that she has the Peter Pan peanut butter out on the counter. What the heck?! Of course I'm not eating that. So she says to me, "You eat goose poop and mud!" What's her point? So get this...she actually wipes off the substandard stuff and puts Jif on the same pill. Are you kidding me? She doesn't even bother to hide this deceitful action, she does it right in front of me! Well, my friends, I am nothing if not committed to brand loyalty. Finally she gets it. I get a new pill. I get my Jif. What I didn't get was an apology, but I'm going to let it slide this time. Your forgiving diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I realize that at first glance it may seem like football-dog and I are being lazy and not performing our important diva duties. But do not fear, beloved reader, I would never let you down! Football-dog and I are taking a power nap. You see, the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that power naps can boost my energy and creativity, as well as reverse information overload. Information overload! That can cause a diva some serious stress. Think about that! I have increased barking demands now that the plow guys are coming around. Don't even get me started on the snow blowers. Within minutes I will be more alert and have improved response time!
Now I'd like to give you a few important power-napping tips. You may read that you should avoid caffeine (whatever that is...it sounds like a made up word to me) in order to have the best power naps. Don't listen to that hooey. Here's what you do...eat half of an oreo and then crash on the couch with your football-dog. It is best if your football-dog smells like dog spit. It's also good to have him nearby in case you get hungry during your power nap and need to chew on his ear. That, my loyal followers, is the secret to excellent power-napping. Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I've been a little under the weather lately so I have chosen to postpone any photographs until I was in top diva form. Now that I am fabulous again I wanted to show you the cool blanket that my grandma made! I was very spoiled by all of my humans this Christmas. I'm so happy...I think I'll chew both my feet now to celebrate. Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Guess what happened today? I was napping on the warm comfy couch, and my mommy told me that it was time to go outside. Ummm....it's like 3 degrees outside. And it's not like it's that light fluffy snow, we're talking granular snow. That stuff is in the cycle of melting and refreezing...this is bad news for a diva. That sticks to my paws and gets my coat all messed up. Plus, it's windy. That yard offers no real protection. How can I be expected to go into the evil of winter? But you guessed it, nobody listens to me. So I am dumped outside in my misery, and then I see it......
hahahahahaha!! I have attached a picture of the giant penguin below for your enjoyment. I love the winter. Your pal-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been busy training my beloved companion, my chewy lamb, the secrets of my craft. This will allow me to conduct other important diva business without leaving my post unguarded. Don't worry, I will remain at my post during peak barking hours. I am including a picture of my chewy lamb on duty because I am so proud of his progress. Your fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been keeping busy with my continuing surveillance of the giant penguin. I would like to keep a written log of his behavior and activities, however, I have not mastered the use of a pencil. If I leave my post for very long to record my observations on the computer...well, I may miss something big. To pass the time I have been considering my upcoming New Year's resolutions. I figure that I'll need extra time to prepare because I have very little that needs reforming. These cats over here can wait until the last minute because they have so many bad habits to choose from. So far I have come up with these ideas: chew more stuff, chase more stuff, bark at more stuff. Aren't those great ideas? I should get back to my post for now. Your diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I look a little stressed, don't I? I know what you are thinking.....I really do. You are saying,"Dixie, you should be relaxing because a diva like you needs rest to be so fabulous!" I hear ya'. But get this....the penguin moved. Somehow it got closer to my door. Mommy said something about decreasing the amount of wind exposure to the penguin. I have no idea what this means. What I do know is that it is impossible to get around this thing without it jumping at me. Mommy said that it's tied down and can't get me, but this is the same chick that moved my couch a couple of months ago. I can't take her seriously, can I? So, my beloved followers, we need a plan to eliminate a 7 foot penguin with poor fashion sense. Your trapped diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have had a tough day. I mean, here I am with my new hairdo and nail treatment and they are expecting me to "go" outside in the rain. Yep, I'm not even kidding. So I have had to deal with the mud and that giant penguin all day. You would think that would be enough, right? Wrong. The little boy person got his cough drop stuck in my ear fur! My freshly puffed ear was full of sticky boy spit and cherry mentho-lyptus. So that woman (usually known as mommy) stuck me into the bath. The bath! Two days after the spa! I'm gonna' go bark at nothing to annoy her now. And I think I'll chew on her purse. Ha! Your vengeful diva-Dixie
Check out my new diva charm! And yes, that is a new hairdo as well. I'm so stinking cute, don't cha' think?
Hi! It's me, Dixie! Yes, I know that I look somewhat scared today, but you would not believe what is in my yard! This gigantic bird with a hat landed in MY yard, and he hasn't moved. Mommy calls him a holiday penguin, whatever that means. I've tried barking, howling, growling...all of my scariest stuff. This dude will not budge. He's creeping me out, especially that hat. What is up with that? But don't worry, I am staying on the other side of the house until he leaves. Your Diva in Hiding-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have had so much fun finding new things to eat this week. For example, have you ever tried Cascade Dishwasher packets? I have to say that my time with this new snack was cut short by Mommy. She sure was grouchy, and muttered something like, "You'll get your stomach pumped, genius." I have no idea what that means, but she must be proud of my discovery if she called me a genius. Oh, and then I found these Equal 0 Calorie Sweetener things. I don't know what a calorie is, but these things are yum! Especially the blue paper! Mom said a bad word at me for this one, but I think she was just trying to get the blue paper for herself. Well, I am off to find more new snacks! Wish me luck! Your Diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I was getting a jump on my holiday shopping today online, and I realized that the perfect gift for everyone would be a Lhasa Apso Page-a-Day calendar. I mean, if there was an actual "Diva Dixie" calendar that would indeed be better, but this is the next best thing. Am I right? Well, get this....and if you are drinking a hot beverage then you should probably set it down now....there are none. That's right. But guess what they do have? Do I even have to say it? Shih Tzu calendars! Yep! Old number 70 on the dog intelligence scale has more calendars than you can count. What is up with humans and their Shih Tzu thing? Do you have any idea how many times I get mistaken for one of these things? Hello?! I happen to come from an impressive history of Tibetan watch dogs. The exact origin of the Shih Tzu is unknown. Unknown! Do you know what is known? That Lhasa Apsos rank 2 places higher on the intelligence scale. I'm just saying. Okay, back to my shopping. Your fabulous diva-Dixie
Hi! It's me, Dixie! I have been really busy lately eating ladybugs so I haven't had my usual time to blog. They are so yummy, you should definitely try some. Anyway, I was watching the local news today and noticed that lots of humans are worried about packing on holiday weight. I thought that I'd offer my tips for avoiding those seasonal pounds. Well, it's one tip really, but it's a goodie. You should really get a pen and write this down. Here it is...give your yummies to the dog. Don't have a dog? Not a problem! Mail them to me, Dixie. Make sure you label your package clearly so that my humans don't try to intercept the good stuff. I'll eat anything, trust me. If it doesn't agree with me then it's always fun to puke it up for mommy. She loves that. Now that I have lessened your holiday stress I will return to eating ladybugs and chewing on my foot. Your Problem-Solving Diva-Dixie
Can you believe she is 72?! She obviously takes my beauty tips seriously. Yes, I know she's only 14 in people years, but whatever.
